This week our Claire is playing by the rules…
A clip from BBC Sounds caught my attention this morning. In it a caller reveals a sneaky way he has discovered to win at Monopoly: He uses up all the houses so that people can’t build their own. I have to admit it made me laugh when I heard it. It’s so clever and not against the rules and, in a way, is in the spirit of the rules since the game is about property monopolies. But there’s a sting in the tail: People now refuse to play against him.
I can understand why because, although I admire the sneakiness of it, if I found myself nobbled like that I’d be pretty angry. When we enter into a competition we expect that the competition is fair and people won’t use underhand tactics to win. To do so is simply unkind and, as the caller has found, being unkind to people has consequences. That goes for all of life…
To take an obvious example, when we meet people, we smile and extend a greeting. We don’t frown and turn our backs on them. Millennia of social conditioning has taught us that to be kind to people when we meet them is the best way to start. It’s similarly so when we leave them. It’s far better to leave on good terms than bad ones.
I’ve also found that leaving with bad feelings can make me moody and difficult to get along with for the rest of the day – often to people who have absolutely nothing to do with why I’m upset! This was the case last Saturday. I was in a bad mood because of a BBC Sounds podcast that had a nasty transphobic segment in it. It really upset me and I ended up snapping at my friend who was only trying to make me feel better – which then upset both of us. Thankfully, we quickly made-up but I can’t help feeling it would’ve been so much better if I hadn’t had the original transphobic experience. Why did the creators of that podcast feel the need to be unkind to a whole group of people? Maybe they had a grudge to bear but their response amplified the hurt and pain rather than bring a resolution to it. As did mine.
The only solution to stop unkindness in it’s tracks is to respond with kindness. I’ve sometimes done this myself: If I find myself irritated with someone, I have in the past done something nice for them. This has only been small things like offering them some chocolate but it stops me carrying the bad feelings around with me for the rest of the day. After all, it’s impossible to have bad feelings about someone when you’ve just been kind to them.
One place I know brimming with kindness is of course WHISC. I’ve never left WHISC feeling worse than when I arrived! And, although I have to make an appointment to visit at the moment, there’s still plenty of reasons to do so! Take a look at the What’s On page of this website to see what grabs your fancy. WHISC are also continuing to offer their Listening Ear service for whatever might be on your mind. Just call 0151 707 1826 or leave a message on the WHISC Facebook page with your phone number and they’ll ring you back. Whatever you’re going through, there’s no need to go it alone. WHISC are here for us.
